Clay Sparkman
There are some good things happening out there, but these last three years have been tough. If you are reading this it is because you are a survivor. And as such, you will have heard it all from lenders who really don’t seem to be very interested in lending any more. If we didn’t laugh at these things … well, we’d need antidepressants. So here in the name of a good laugh (if not a belly buster, at least a chuckle), I give you a new top ten list.
Drum roll please…
The top ten things brokers are sick and tired of hearing from lenders are:
10. Actually that was yesterday’s program. You just missed it.
9. Oh you silly man. Banks don’t lend any more. That’s so 2007.
8. Uh, why don’t you come back when you don’t need us so much?
7. Interesting, interesting, right, right … interesting …
6. How about never? Is never good for you?
5. So how is that loan quest thing working out for you anyway?
4. Remember the Monty Python cheese skit? Well this phone call is about to remind you of that.
3. This is not one of those situations where “no” means “yes.” Our “no” you might say is actually a true and authentic “no”. It is 100% pure and comes with no interpretation required.
2. Look we used to do that lending thing and it didn’t work out so well for us, as you may have heard, soooo … now we just sit around drinking coffee, surfing the web, and playing solitaire all day.
1. Press 1 for a rejection, press 2 for an emphatic rejection, press 3 for a rude rejection …
Also, just for more fun and good times, here is the top ten list I posted on my other blog, The Private Money Investor: http://privatemoneysource.com/blog/humor/top-ten-loan-offerings-that-you-may-choose-not-to-review/
— Clay (clay@privatemoneysource.com, 503-476-2909)
Clay is Vice President of Fairfield Financial, a primary source for private money since 1964. Fairfield is currently targeting loans in OR, WA, AK, CA, CO, ID, FL, GA, ID, MT, NV, NY, OK and TX. To submit a loan to Fairfield for consideration: http://www.privatemoneysource.com/loanproposal.php
I am interested in locating a private source, p-perhaps a venture capital investor who knows what chemical plants are, how capital intensive they are because they require more equipment than over consumer or retail operations. My tire recycling plant which will go through over 2,000,000 tires a year through the reators, and our plant will have four of them. it will produce 8,000 tons of carbon black powder, and over 1,375,000 gallons of plasticizer oil . net to complete plant approximately $30,000,000.00 the plant will be on a conytract to be operated by the chemical management company.the plant will net net net $approximately $20,000,000. not including debt service or taxes. I am the 100% owner of the plant at this time. I have paid the $55,000.00 for the business plan to be completed if I can locate an interested party for the project. this project will site in either Riverside or San Bernadino counties of Ca.
I like this area at it is undeveloped, it has land that is priced under $15.00 a sq.ft. all I need is light industrial zoning for the site, and the potential for USDA financing exists due to the economic development aspect of this plant which will provide over 37 jobs and provide over $1,000,000 in salaries annually.
let me know how you can help?
Douglas F. Fodor
Hi Douglas,
I have to say that this really falls pretty far outside our own area of expertise here at Fairfield Financial. However, there may be some readers who can weigh in on this with some helpful guidance. I welcome anyone to do so.
Thanks and good luck,
Clay
Mr. Sparkman,
I don’t pay any attention to all the adversity in the lending world. That being said, please review the following and kindly reply.
Attn: Investors; This is a proposal to invest in a ground floor Food Service Opportunity with a proven menu and a “ Unique New Concept”.
My name is Wynn LaTorre and I have been in the food and beverage industry my entire adult life. I’m also a licensed Building Contractor. Since 1986 I have designed and built several custom restaurants and owned four of them. Currently I have a new food service Concept designed as an Up-Scale, Quick-Service, Café/Pub and I am seeking assistance with funding.
The Unique attraction with our Concept at “The Brick Oven Pub” is the two Imported Italian Wood Fired Brick Ovens that are used Exclusively to service the entire menu. These two Ovens are show-cased, up front for all to witness our Exhibition Style Entertainment Cooking. The high heat of the Ovens allow for a rapid turnaround from the time you order to the time you are served. In most instances this is less than 5 to7 minutes. San Francisco style Pizza’s and a variety of quality entrees, with daily specials, are offered on the menu along with Regional Micro Beers, Imported and Domestic Draft Beers and a carefully selected list of Quality Wines.
This Concept is specifically designed for multiple units. Our first goal is to join forces with an “Investors Group” to assist with financing our first Café/Pub. Our long term goal, ultimately, is to open more Pubs in larger markets. Therefore, it is crucial that our first store be carefully planed and executed. We have the proper planning; however, to execute successfully it is very important to obtain proper initial funding.
Seeking: Partnership/ Investment/ Funding.
We are a Fast Casual, Quick Service, Café/ Pub with a proven menu and a very “Unique Concept”. We seek assistance with funding for the purchase of the property and project improvements. Our business plan is capital ready. The location is a free standing vacant restaurant for sale only, near Sonora California. The management team has worked with me in other restaurants I have owned and collectively we have well over 50 years of restaurant experience. We are prepared and ready to; implement project improvements, procure the necessary business equipment and to operate this restaurant when the remodeling is complete. We are offering an attractive percent of ownership in exchange for funding assistance. The first store shows strong annual projections (600 to 700k in first year sales). Future stores in larger markets will do considerably better with potential 15 to 20% return EBIT on sales. Please contact me for more project information and Investment Returns. Thank you, Best Regards, Wynn LaTorre / Founder
“The Brick Oven Pub”.
(209) 352-3470 wlatorre45@gmail.com
Hi Wynn,
It seems to me that you are looking primarily for venture capital to fund a business concept (with some possible collateral, but not enough I think to make this work as a private money concept). Please correct me if I am wrong. We don’t do any venture/business capital per say but focus solely on private money loans collateralized by real property. However, there may be some readers out there who wish to weigh in on this with some helpful guidance. I appeal to the readers to offer info/assistance if they are in a position to do so.
Thanks and good luck Wynn,
Clay