Clay Sparkman
I posted this some five years ago. I thought I’d put it up again. I figured we could all use a laugh.
There are some good things happening out there, but these last three years have been tough. If you are reading this it is because you are a survivor. And as such, you will have heard just about everything imaginable from from lenders who really don’t seem to be very interested in lending any more. If we didn’t laugh at these things … well, we’d need antidepressants. So here in the name of a good laugh (if not a belly buster, at least a chuckle), I give you a new top ten list.
Drum roll please…
The top ten things brokers are sick and tired of hearing from lenders are:
10. Actually that was yesterday’s program. You just missed it.
9. Oh you silly man. Banks don’t lend any more. That’s so 2007.
8. Uh, why don’t you come back here when you don’t need us so much?
7. Interesting, interesting, right, right … interesting …
6. How about never? Is never good for you?
5. So how is that loan quest thing working out for you anyway?
4. Remember the Monty Python cheese skit? Well this phone call is about to remind you of that.
3. This is not one of those situations where “no” means “yes.” Our “no” you might say is actually a true and authentic “no”. It is 100% pure and comes with no interpretation required.
2. Look we used to do that lending thing and it didn’t work out so well for us, as you may have heard, soooo … now we just sit around drinking coffee, surfing the web, and playing solitaire all day.
1. Press 1 for a rejection, press 2 for an emphatic rejection, press 3 for a rude rejection …
I hope you enjoyed that.
— Clay (clay@privatemoneysource.com, 503-476-2909)
Clay is Vice President of Fairfield Financial, a primary source for private money since 1964. Fairfield is currently targeting loans in OR, WA, AK, CA, CO, ID, FL, GA, ID, MT, NV, NY, OK and TX. To submit a loan to Fairfield for consideration: http://www.privatemoneysource.com/loanproposal.php
Tags: hard money brokering, hard money loans, private money brokering, private money loans
